These are simple steps to keep in mind when dealing with troubles in parenting. They are problem solving in the area of behavior and even more importantly understanding where the behavior comes from. If you can learn these steps and incorporate them into your everyday way of thinking you can almost effortlessly transform problems into resolved issues.
Here are the five steps of parental problem solving.
1. Identify the Problem. Positively identify your child’s problem. Find out what is really bothering them. This is not always easy to do. Some of the time people are more willing to hide or cover up the truth as a way of avoiding it. The best way to get to the heart of the matter is by utilizing the next step. Finding out the feelings. We have many more Parenting Help Articles Now Available.
2. Figure Out and Uncover the True Feelings About the Issue. Ask questions aimed at the way the child will react in an emotional manner. This is just being thorough. You do not have to be interrogative just consistent and in fact it often helps to be empathetic. People are more inclined to share their feelings if they think you are understanding. So use this kind of empathetic attitude to trigger the right emotions. Then learn as much as you can from the emotions.
3. Distinguish the Negative Belief Behind the Feelings. Once a person believes something through their emotive experience it in essence becomes real to them. People can be imprisoned in their own belief systems. The most damaging happens to be that of children. It has been proven that if a child hears negative responses enough from friends or family they begin to become what it is they are taunted about.
In short, if they hear or are called stupid enough times throughout the formative years they will believe it. This is the long-term example. There is also a short-term effect which is what you are looking for. Coincidentally, the short-term of this is equally just as limiting or liberating in effectiveness.
4. Flip the Belief Into a Positive, More Favorable Understanding. This is where the transformation begins. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can and what do you know, I DID IT! Belief can play a powerful role in potential. Support and inspiration along with guidance provides the confidence to begin the attempt in the first place. You are trying to find that spot. You as a parent are the inspiration and the necessary guidance and support to change things around for them. This is what your children look to parents for and what parents sometimes miss. This experience is a lot of the time what it’s all about and makes parenting so much the rewarding and worth while effort that it is.
5. Share the Difference That It Can Make. Enlighten Them To What Could Be. This is just the follow-up. Show them how shifting an attitude or perspective can result in a world of difference. Once they understand that they are in fact in control of more of their own reality; simply by seeing things differently and a changing of attitude they will shift their views more easily. Your children will be more apt to listen and more flexible in their understanding of things. Especially when you are there to continue to remind them.
They will also see that it was you the parent that helped them to see this and understand their power over things. They in turn will look to you more for solving their problems until they have ultimately learned how to solve their problems on their own. They will never forget that it was through your help that they learned the five steps of parental problem solving from their parents. We have many more Parenting Help Articles Now Available.