“I need help fixing my marriage.” That’s a statement that you hear yourself making even though you can’t believe it. You had such high hopes when the marriage began, didn’t you? You thought that you and your spouse would grow old together, raising your family. Little did you know, back then, that the seas would become so rough and you’d be at the point where you started to entertain the thought of divorce. It happens and what you do in response dictates whether or not your marriage can survive.
If you need help fixing your marriage you have to consider where the trouble is coming from. Identifying the major conflicts in your relationship is a good first step towards addressing them. You have to be honest with this step and ideally you’ll have the cooperation of your partner so you two can work together on rebuilding the relationship. If that’s not the case, you need to go at it alone. Think about what you two seem to argue about the most and then consider whether that’s the actual problem or the byproduct of some other issue. Once you’ve got to the heart of the matter, you need to find a way to resolve it.
One of the reasons why couples drift apart is they stop communicating with each other. They obviously have to talk each day about mundane issues like who will drive the children to school or who will stop to get some milk on the way home from work. On the surface it appears as though they communicate just fine, but they don’t. Unless you and your spouse are openly and honestly talking with one another about your marriage and its problems, you’re doing your relationship and family a disservice. Set some time aside that is uninterrupted for you two to just talk about things. These discussions may be difficult emotionally but they’re crucial to the well being of your relationship. Do this weekly or daily if you have to until you both feel as though the other fully understands what is needed from the relationship.
It’s very likely that you see each other more as co-parents than life partners if you have kids. This is very common for couples who are raising small children. Their romanticrelationship takes a backseat to their parenting duties and they end up living more like platonic partners than lovers. You have to give your romantic relationship the attention it deserves. Respect it and nurture it. Make time to spend alone with each other and cherish each of those moments. If you can stay close in every way possible, your marriage will not only survive, it will thrive.
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