Men are at a huge disadvantage in American divorce courts. It is mostly cultural but it is there and it can be a serious penalty for you.
How so, you ask? What if your wife’s lawyer suggests she gets a restraining order against you for physical abuse? Do you get to present your side? No. Do you have to leave your home and your children and get looked at with a jaundiced eye? Yes. Women file for divorce more than 2 to 1 over men what if you get blindsided with such a restraining order.
Has this happened to you? If it does, do you know how to handle it? Do you go hire an attorney and leave it all to him? Your attorney can be a great resource for you but as with anything, he is not you, he is very busy, it means more to you than it ever will to him. And the bottom line of this is, you need to learn the process so you can oversee and manage him. You need to learn the possible pitfalls and what to do about them.
First thing, keep your head in the game. All of this stuff is going to mess with your mind but you need to drive through it. I heard an interview once with a NASCAR driver. He was asked about fire on the track and what to do about it. His response was to just drive through it. All the time your head is telling you to slam on the brakes or swerve to get away from it and here this great driver says you have to keep going through it. Doing anything else will cause more cars to pile up on you. So too it is with your divorce you need to just drive straight through this thing. Your feelings are going to be telling you to be sad, and get pity from those around you: that is a losing strategy. You need to keep your head in and find the best information and strategies that you can.
Women can be vicious when they come against you in divorce. This is particularly true if they have already moved on to a new partner. In this case they may just want to take everything they can along with them. The courts will let them unless you understand how to put the right strategy in place to stop them. You may need legal council but you also need to run the show yourself.