It is common for the older generation to talk about having their children. These stories are usually filled with happiness and sorrow as they recount the troubles and joys they had raising their kids. Not every parent has the same method for teaching their children. There are four basic methods that are used by most though and they are as follows:
· The Authority Method – This is the method where the main form of control over the children is fear. This means that anything the parents tell their children must be obeyed without question. The children listen because they know if they do not the punishments are severe and followed through with. There is no conversation or compromise, it is what it is. Those children who do not comply or who question their parents are punished. This method does not lead to a healthy and happy child. Instead of loving their parents, they fear them instead. Many of the children produced from an authority upbringing have hard times in adult life because they do not know how to interact with others in a healthy manner.
· Overly Indulgent – Those parents who never seem to hear their children throwing the temper tantrum at the store can be considered overly indulgent. They do not stop this type of bad behavior and ignore it instead. Instead of steering their children in the right direction or setting boundaries, they feel that their children learn more by making their own mistakes and learning from them. There is more openness in the parent child relationship and compromise is the key for the parents who use this method of parenting. The one aspect that is good about this parenting method is that the parents are much closer to their children that the authority parents and they tend to be more open minded when their children are not cut exactly from the same cloth as they are. The children are allowed to be their own people and this allows for more growth.
· The Authoritative Method – This method is the middle ground between the authority and indulgent parenting styles. This allows for the children to have some freedom to make their own mistakes and discuss them with their parents and still have boundaries. It is a more open relationship than the authority method allows for without being completely free of the structure that children need. The children who grow up with this method often grow to be the happiest children and they grow up to be well adjusted adults.
· The Passive Method – This is probably one of the worst methods even more so than the authority method. Passive parenting is the lack of parenting completely. The children are either left to their own devices or they are reared by family members. These children are often angry, lack confidence and grow up to be severely troubled adults unless they get counseling to deal with their self esteem issues.
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